Since I was thinking about the characteristic of my individual style and found out that a good portion of elegance takes part of every look and style I personally prefer, I thought about “what is elegance?”.
I posted a few quotes on Instagram of famous fashion people like Coco Chanel and Karl Lagerfeld. I also created a board on Pinterest of pictures I found on my research of elegance. I really am trying to understand when and if a woman is called elegant.
Please browse through that slider to see those pictures if you don’t have Pinterest.
When I gaze at the pictures of my Pinterest board – I really adore their beauty… – I reasoned that obviously it lies in a certain calm all these ladies irradiate. From my experience – though Coco Chanel predicate differently – I realized that of course some dresses can shift you in a certain mood – also to be elegant.
Some dresses truly do have such qualities. I agree that mostly it consists of their simplicity, their exclusive materials and their undecorated or little decorated shapes and lines. I don’t know what comes first, the effect of the dress or the behavior and feeling of the one who wears it…
I don’t know if I am elegant or not – I hope to be so… – but I strictly love that feeling of slipping in an elegant dress and feel the effect it occurs inside of me.:
My gests immediately change, my attitude changes, even the way I walk. It feels as if to put on a different person…
Did you ever watch “Pretty woman”? (I did a thousand times…) And do you remember that scene when Julia Roberts wears this gorgeous red dress to go to the opera with Richard Gere? When he says to her she shouldn’t “act” so much to look more elegantly? This is what I mean.
Slip into a different person.
[But I guess the music in the background supports this elegant ambience as well. Unfortunately there is no background music for your entry in real life. So it is totally up to you to create that special atmosphere. Sorry!]
From my point of view I don’t agree completely to Karl Lagerfeld’s quote.
Likewise I watched women in my shop convinced of not being elegant and who didn’t want to be so either (while some of them were deceiving their selves). They strictly didn’t believe in their appearance and in the fact that changing their style automatically would also change the way they are perceived by other people. This means elegance is something that is sent out by someone and noticed by someone else. It is more an inner feeling, the attitude of a person or mood than just something exterior. And the best news are:
Inner feelings can be influenced by oneself!
[This is the hardest lesson I learned in my life – not in the sense of being elegant, but in the context of being happy…what might be even harder to achieve…]
My favorite quote and personal point of view is the one by Being Caballero of elegance to be a self created work of art. Means define what elegance consist of for you and close the gaps. Like always…
My daughter once said to her lazy brother (having a lot of problems due to this…!) “Look at your problem and then go every single step to eliminate it!” – sounds so easy…
But obviously it is worth the price and the way to go there if you get along with Audrey Hepburn. We are all getting older and on that way most of us don’t become prettier (please don’t get me wrong, it is just like nature goes…). So it might be a good idea to “invest” in elegance to stay beautiful in the sense of Audrey.
What might be helpful is to try not to feel ridiculous while training to become more elegant. It might be you to feel a little lost and weird while stepping on that new path. That’s completely normal. In such cases I always tell my children:
Everything is hard first before it is getting easier later.
Join a dance school or a yoga class, for example, if you feel the need of becoming more soft, flexible and lightweight in your movements. Or follow some tutorials to learn how to lay your make up more elegantly – but please chose someone in a similar age than you are… (I appreciate Dominique Sachse for their tips and recommendations)
Study some pictures of elegant women.
What makes her elegantly? Why do people judge her as to be elegant – sometimes even very young women? Try to get in touch with your inner feeling regarding elegance. How does this feel? Or how might this feel? It is a process. In my yoga tutorial Maria Villella says 1% theory and the rest is practice.
Some final thoughts; if I look at my pictures and all my different looks I recognized that there are different types of elegance:
If you are a sporty type you can be sporty elegant. Don’t try to look like a ballerina… Be yourself and be your sporty version of elegance.
If you are a very cool person – take your coolness while adding some elegance.
If you are that princess type – maybe the secret of being more elegant lies in reducing some colors and decorative elements of your style to become more elegant.
If you are a down to earth person be sure that elegance doesn’t necessarily need to be something aloof. You don’t need to wear the highest heels and the redest lipstick to be elegant. Try to develop your calm and tender elegance.
Never try to become someone else, Ladies. Be unique!
Try to become a different version of yourself. I can promise you, you will feel much more YOU – in that particular case that your greatest desire is to be elegant… You will enjoy the biggest benefit of this change by finding your self-confidence and getting your inner calm. And this will automatically be noticed in your charisma.